When Old Wounds Return: Understanding Trauma in Pregnancy, Birth & Early Parenting
Discover how past trauma can resurface during pregnancy, childbirth, and early parenting. Learn how Perinatal Therapy and EMDR can support emotional healing, improve mental health, and help you feel more connected as a parent in Australia.
The transition into parenthood is often described as one of life’s most transformative journeys. While it brings immense joy and fulfillment, it can also trigger a resurgence of unresolved emotional trauma. If you have experienced anxiety, guilt, shame, grief, or emotional disconnection during pregnancy or early parenting, you are not alone — and you are not broken.
In Australia, an increasing number of new and expecting parents are seeking support for emotional challenges during the perinatal period — which includes preconception, pregnancy, childbirth, and the early months and years of parenting. For many, this stage can awaken unresolved memories and feelings rooted in their own early life experiences.
As a Perinatal Psychologist and Trauma Therapist, I specialise in supporting individuals through these deeply vulnerable moments using evidence-based therapeutic approaches, including EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). This form of trauma-informed care can provide profound healing for those carrying the weight of past emotional wounds.
Why Trauma Often Resurfaces During the Perinatal Period
The perinatal period is not only a time of nurturing a new life — it also brings to the surface memories of how we ourselves were cared for, or perhaps neglected, in childhood. As you prepare to become a parent, your nervous system may become attuned to past attachment wounds or unresolved grief. These early life experiences can unconsciously shape how you respond to the demands of pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
Common emotional responses can include:
Emotional Disconnection: Feeling distant from your baby or emotionally overwhelmed.
Parental Guilt and Shame: Experiencing internal conflict despite your best efforts.
Self-Doubt: Frequently second-guessing your parenting decisions.
Grief: Mourning the parent you never had — or the one you hoped to become.
These reactions are not indicators of personal failure; rather, they are signs that your body and mind are processing unresolved emotional pain.
What Trauma Can Look Like — Beyond the Obvious
Trauma is not always the result of catastrophic events. Often, it stems from experiences of emotional neglect, lack of support, or the absence of connection during critical developmental stages. These subtle wounds can be just as impactful, and they often go unrecognised until triggered by significant life changes like becoming a parent.
Signs of unresolved trauma during the perinatal period may include:
Feeling chronically overwhelmed or anxious, even with a supportive environment.
Hypervigilance or emotional shutdown in response to your baby’s needs.
Difficulty bonding or feeling emotionally numb in your parenting role.
These are all adaptive responses to earlier experiences, often developed to cope with unsafe or invalidating environments. During the perinatal period, these responses can resurface, calling for compassionate therapeutic attention.
The Role of Trauma-Informed Therapy in Perinatal Mental Health
Many individuals seek help after trying conventional approaches — reading parenting books, attending support groups, or talking to friends — only to find that their emotional distress remains unresolved. This is often because these strategies, while helpful, do not address the nervous system’s learned survival responses to trauma.
Trauma-informed therapy, particularly Perinatal EMDR Therapy, works at a deeper level. It allows the brain to process unhealed memories, release emotional pain, and rewire the body’s stress response system. This form of therapy acknowledges the complexity of your emotional world and offers tools for lasting change.
How EMDR Therapy Supports Healing in the Perinatal Period
EMDR Therapy is a well-established, research-supported treatment that enables individuals to safely revisit and process traumatic memories. It is particularly effective for:
Understanding the impact of early attachment wounds on current parenting challenges.
Processing grief, birth trauma, or miscarriage, helping parents integrate their experiences without being overwhelmed by them.
Creating a sense of emotional safety, allowing for greater presence and connection with your child.
Strengthening your innate parenting capacity, by reducing anxiety and restoring emotional resilience.
By engaging in EMDR, many parents report feeling more grounded, emotionally available, and empowered in their parenting journey.
You Are Not Alone: Seeking Support Through Perinatal Therapy
Becoming a parent is a profound emotional journey, and it is entirely natural to feel unsettled, vulnerable, or overwhelmed during this time. If you are struggling with distressing thoughts, emotional disconnection, or unresolved grief, know that help is available — and healing is possible.
Perinatal Therapy, grounded in trauma-informed principles and supported by EMDR, offers a path forward. Together, we can explore the ways in which your past may be shaping your present experience of parenting and work to cultivate a sense of inner safety, strength, and connection.
If you are ready to begin this journey, I invite you to reach out. You deserve support that honours your experiences and empowers you to thrive in your role as a parent.