Ditching Perfection: The Mental Health Benefits of “Good Enough” Motherhood
Learn why the “perfect mother” myth is harmful and how embracing “good enough” motherhood supports emotional well-being. Discover how therapy can help.
In a world flooded with highlight reels and unrealistic parenting standards, many mothers feel overwhelmed by the pressure to be perfect. As a perinatal psychotherapist and trauma therapist, I’ve worked with countless mothers who carry the emotional burden of trying to meet impossible expectations.
This blog explores why the “perfect mother” myth is harmful, how embracing “good enough motherhood” benefits your mental health, and how therapy can support you in letting go of perfectionism and reclaiming your self-worth.
The Myth of the Perfect Mother
The idea of the “perfect mother” is a cultural illusion—a polished, pressure-filled standard that no real parent can live up to. Social media, outdated gender norms, and internalized expectations contribute to this myth, leaving many mothers feeling like they’re constantly falling short.
But striving for perfection in motherhood is not only unrealistic—it’s damaging. It promotes guilt, burnout, and emotional disconnection.
The Mental Health Impact of Perfectionism in Motherhood
1. Perfectionism and Chronic Guilt
The need to “do it all” flawlessly can quickly spiral into mental and emotional exhaustion. Many mothers internalize guilt when they fall short of idealized parenting standards, making it harder to enjoy the present moment or prioritise their own well-being.
2. Feelings of Inadequacy
Constant comparison to others—especially the curated versions of motherhood seen online—can fuel feelings of not being enough. These beliefs chip away at confidence and increase the risk of anxiety, depression, and postnatal mental health challenges.
3. Reluctance to Ask for Help
The myth that a “good mother” should do everything on her own often leads to isolation. But asking for help is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of strength and essential for long-term emotional health.
What Is “Good Enough” Motherhood?
Coined by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, the term “good enough mother” does not imply inadequacy. It refers to the realistic, compassionate approach to parenting that prioritizes emotional connection over perfection.
A good enough mother:
Shows up consistently with love and presence
Makes mistakes and learns from them
Practices self-compassion instead of self-criticism
Focuses on connection, not appearance or performance
Whether dinner is home-cooked or reheated, whether bedtime is smooth or chaotic, what matters most is emotional availability—not flawless routines.
The Benefits of Embracing “Good Enough” Motherhood
✅ Reduces Pressure and Anxiety
Letting go of the need to be perfect creates emotional breathing room. You’re able to enjoy moments with your child without the constant mental checklist of shoulds and musts.
✅ Promotes Healthy Boundaries
Good enough mothers say “no” when needed. They recognise that setting boundaries protects both their mental health and the well-being of their families.
✅ Encourages Self-Care
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritising self-care isn’t selfish—it’s a necessary part of sustainable parenting. Rest, support, and mental health care are acts of love—for you and your child.
✅ Fosters Resilience in Children
Children benefit from seeing their caregivers handle mistakes, regulate emotions, and model self-kindness. Good enough parenting helps children learn how to navigate life with resilience, not perfection.
How Therapy Supports Mothers Letting Go of Perfection
As a therapist specialising in perinatal mental health and trauma, I often support clients in unpacking internalised pressure and guilt tied to parenting. Therapy provides a safe space to explore your beliefs, challenge unrealistic standards, and rediscover your value as a parent—not because you're perfect, but because you're present.
Through modalities like EMDR therapy, we can also work through deeper emotional patterns, including birth trauma, unresolved grief, and the fear of not measuring up.
Therapy can help you:
Reframe negative self-talk
Build emotional resilience
Improve self-worth and self-compassion
Set healthy boundaries with confidence
Break cycles of perfectionism passed down through generations
A Compassionate Reminder: You Are Already Enough
The “perfect mother” does not exist—but you do, and that is enough.
You are allowed to:
Ask for help
Make mistakes
Prioritise yourself
Have hard days
Be a good parent without being a perfect one
Final Thoughts: Choose Real Over Perfect
Motherhood isn’t about checking all the boxes or living up to an unattainable ideal. It’s about connection, compassion, and care—for your children and for yourself.
“Good enough” motherhood is not a compromise—it’s a conscious, empowered choice to value authenticity over performance.
If you’re navigating perfectionism in motherhood, I invite you to reach out. Therapy for mothers can be a powerful step toward healing, clarity, and greater emotional freedom. You deserve to parent from a place of confidence, not comparison.